Welcome to FreeTHEMinc.

A Message from Our Founder

 

FreeTHEMinc was born from lived experience.

I created FreeTHEMinc to honor my life, my parents, my exposures, and the experiences that shaped me - as a Latina who grew up in the South Bronx Directly & Indirectly exposed to Substance Misuse, Hardship, and Circumstances that required me to Learn how to Survive before I had the Opportunity to Understand What I was Experiencing.

I did not have the chance to Stop and Process Everything Around Me - My Focus was Surviving it- Reacting and Responding to My Circumstances without the Direction, Support, or Positive Tools needed to understand what I was experiencing. 

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As I grew Much Older, I began to recognize how Deeply those experiences had shaped me and how Many Others Were Carrying Similar Experiences of Their Own.

 

I realized that the impact of Substance Misuse, and how far beyond the reach it was past the Person Using a Substance.  It affects Children, Parents, Siblings, Relationships, Families, and ENTIRE Community(ies). 

 

Most Times we experience it directly - Sometimes we experience it through the people we love, the environments we live in, and the circumstances surrounding us.

 

I created FreeTHEMinc because I wanted to be part of the difference I wish someone had been FOR ME, MY Brothers, MY Cousins, MY Friends, My Neighbors.

 

I often think about what might have been different if we had been given the opportunity to understand what we were experiencing, develop healthier tools for responding to it, and recognize that our circumstances did not have to determine our future.  That belief became the foundation of FreeTHEMinc.

The Moment I Knew

There is one moment from my childhood that I carry with me-not because it defines my life, but because it taught me something I would not fully understand until many years later.

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I remember knowing that I had to take off my jewelry and give it to a friend of my mother's so she could sell it to get my mother the heroin she needed to help with the sickness she was experiencing.

I remember waiting.

I remember waiting to open the door.

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And when I finally did, I saw my mother.

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She saw me.

And in that moment, we both knew.

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She knew what I had done to help her get what she needed.

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I knew what I had sacrificed to help her.

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And somewhere inside both of us, there was still a Hope that Just Maybe This would be THE Moment She Would finally find the Strength to Stop.

 

But we also knew it wasn't.

 

That was the moment I understood something No 14 Year Old Child Should have to understand:

Loving someone does not always mean you can save them.

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And sometimes, Loving someone means Recognizing What you CanNot Control, What you CanNot Fix, and What you CanNot Continue Carrying For THEM.

 

I also knew that I had to leave.  There was no Perfect Explanation for it - No Handbook - I had told me how to process what I was experiencing.

 

There was simply a moment when I knew what I knew, the deeply rooted hurt that guided my movements of Self-Need over All - That moment became part of the foundation of who I would become.

 

What We Learn From What We Live

There are moments in our lives when we know something before we have the words to explain it.

 

Sometimes what we know hurts us to our core.

 

Sometimes we wish we did not know it.

 

Sometimes we wish the circumstances were different.

 

And sometimes, there is nothing we can do to change what happened.

 

But I have learned that we can choose what we take from those moments.

 

We can carry the pain forward, or we can begin to understand it.

 

We can carry shame, blame, and judgment, or we can approach ourselves and others with compassion and understanding.

 

We can allow an experience to define us, or we can ask:

 

What can I learn from this?

 

What can I grow from this?

 

How can I love myself through this?

 

Those questions became part of the foundation of FreeTHEMinc.

I believe we have to Learn, Grow, and Love through the processes of our lives-through the experiences we choose and the experiences we never chose, through the people we love, through the environments that shape us, and through the exposures that sometimes or may always affect us without our permission.

Learning does not mean excusing what happened.

Understanding does not mean accepting harm.

Loving someone does not mean abandoning ourselves.

 

And healing does not require us to forget.

It means finding the wisdom within our experiences without allowing judgment to prevent us from seeing the humanity in ourselves or others.

 

That is what FreeTHEMinc means to me.  It is the belief that even within our most difficult experiences, there may be something we can learn, something within us that can grow, and an opportunity to practice love-not only for others, but for ourselves.

 

Learn. Grow. Love.

Because sometimes the lesson we carry from our hardest moments becomes the very thing that allows us to help someone else find their way.

 

Building What I Did Not Have As I became a mother, I began building a different kind of future for my children.

 

As a Latina who did not have the support system I needed to thrive, I wanted my children to have access to tools, opportunities, knowledge, relationships, and spaces that I could have never imagined having growing up.

 

I did not always know how to explain what I was doing.  Sometimes I was learning while I was teaching.  I was discovering things for myself while trying to make sure my children had access to them. I did not always have the words, the skills, or even the time to stop and fully process what I was learning before I was already trying to pass it on.

 

But I had an intuition - a deep knowing-that I was on a path toward something greater.

So I continued to strive beyond my understanding, beyond my exhaustion, and often beyond what I believed I had the capacity to give.

There were times when I could not stop long enough to digest what I was experiencing or explain the depth of what I was trying to create.

But I knew why I was doing it.

Giving my children what I did not have was more important than my exhaustion.  I want THEM to inherit more than my survival.  I want THEM to inherit the Possibilities.

 

I want THEM to have the Confidence to walk into spaces I never imagined I could enter, access resources I never knew existed, understand choices I never had the opportunity to consider, and know that they belonged in spaces where their voices mattered.

When I relocated to Waterbury, CT, I carried that same commitment with me.

 

I invest my Time, Energy, Relationships, and Resources into Creating Access to Spaces and Opportunities for my Children and now Grandchildren - that I could not have imagined as a child. 

Even purchasing my home became part of that vision.  For me, homeownership is more than owning property - Especially without Support - It represents determination, stability, strength, opportunity, and legacy. 

It is something I hope to leave for my children and grandchildren when I am no longer here.

I now understand that some of what I was building was Generational Wealth, but it was also something larger: than Me, My Family, but Something Culturally Prideful.

Generational Knowledge, Generational Opportunity, Generational Stability, and Generational Hope.

I was building a foundation for those who would come after me, sometimes before I even had the words to understand what I was building.

And THIS Realization became Part of my Purpose, Pride and Understanding.

Turning Life Lessons Into Tools for Life

FreeTHEMinc is an extension of the lessons my life has taught me:

Learn. Grow. Love. Heal. Hope. Trust. Dignity. Resilience. Connection. CommUNITY.

I believe our experiences can teach us something even the experiences we never asked for.

Healing does not mean pretending difficult things did not happen. It means having the opportunity to understand them, give them meaning, develop healthier ways of responding, and use what we have learned to make more purposeful choices moving forward.

 

At FreeTHEMinc, We call this Recycling the Problem-Solving tools established within our Struggles back into Ourselves.

We cannot Rarely Change what happened to us.

But with the right support, connection, knowledge, and resources, we can begin to change what we do with what happened to us.

And what we learn can become something we pass forward.

Expanding the Conversation About Addiction

Another important part of our work is helping people understand that substance misuse and addiction are not limited to Street Drugs, Prescription Medications, or Alcohol.

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We are surrounded by Behaviors, Environments, Relationships, and Patterns that can become Harmful when Experienced or Used in Excess.

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Understanding this broader perspective allows us to recognize that people may be affected by addiction without ever using a substance themselves.

 

A Child may be impacted by a Parent's Substance Misuse.  A Sibling May Carry the Emotional Consequences.  A partner may Experience the instability of a Relationship.  A Community may Experience the effects of Trauma, Violence, Disconnection, and Loss.

 

These experiences are REAL, even when they are not always Acknowledged, Considered, Understood, or Validated of Why We Do This Work - FreeTHEMinc exists to create spaces I wish had existed when I was growing up - Where Individuals can be heard WithOUT Judgment, Shame, to Connect WithOUT Fear, and Discover They are NOT Alone.

 

Our work is rooted in the Belief that Healing Happens through Connection - Bringing  individuals, families, CommUNITY Partners, Resources, Organizations, Supporters and Volunteers Together because No One Person  or Organization Can Do This Work Alone.

 

Every Person Deserves Compassion, Dignity, and the Chance to build a Healthier Future.  We Believe when a Person Learns, Grows, Heals, and Becomes Stronger, that Strength can Reach another and another-and another Person - And THIS is with Hand to Hand Resource Connection Builds Trust Continues to INcrease CommUNITY and Legacy is Built.  

 

That is the HEART of FreeTHEMinc.

 

I created FreeTHEMinc because I survived what I once wished someone would help me understand.

I built for my children what I once wished had been available to me.

 

And today, I want to help others discover sooner what took me years to learn: our experiences are part of our story, but they do not have to define our future.

What we learn from our lives can become what we leave for the lives that come after us.

 

MaLisa M. Blasini
FreeTHEMinc, Founder & Executive Director